🔴 LIMITED TIME OFFER
BUT WAIT
THERE'S MORE!
One time payment. NO subscriptions. NO catch.
CHANNEL 7 BASIC
FREE
No credit card
- ✓ 3 rounds per day
- ✓ AI-generated falling words
- ✓ Chip Hansen TTS commentary
- ✓ Annotated denial map (PNG)
- ✓ Cross-visit memory
- ✓ Leaderboard participation
BEST VALUE
BIG SPENDER
$2.99
ONE TIME • Lifetime access
- ✅ Unlimited rounds
- ✅ Upload your bank CSV — play YOUR charges
- ✅ 3-minute extended rounds
- ✅ Weekly denial trend chart
- ✅ Downloadable PDF Diagnosis
- ✅ Personalized AI infomercial jingle
- ✅ Everything in Free
🛡️
100% Money-Back Guarantee*
*if you can prove Chip Hansen was wrong about your spending. (He never is.)
FAQ
Is this a subscription?
NO! It is a one-time $2.99 payment for lifetime access. We hate subscriptions almost as much as you hate your DoorDash habit.
Is my bank data safe?
We never see your raw CSV. It is parsed in your browser and only merchant names + amounts are sent to the server.
Will Chip yell at me?
Yes. That is the entire product.
Can I get a refund?
Email us a screenshot of you actually canceling a subscription you forgot about and we will consider it.